Hello, and I seemed to blog a little more often today. I haven't get all the pictures yet for Baby's birthday so I can't blog about that.
I know some of you may be puzzled, about the happenings in my life and his.
So, are we like still together?
We have never break up before. We are still together.
He just messaged me, told me about not meeting sales and that he doesn't have time to eat. Poor Baby :c So sad uh, I won't pity you. You're no longer the good boyfriend I have.
You said it's because of work, I wanted to trust you.
You said things will never go beyond work.(I hope so)
I don't like this you: being two-sided.
When we are apart, you hardly send a message or call.
When we are together, you will hug and talk to me and we are together.
*I don't want to have any impression of anyone, I don't want to detest or dislike anyone too.
'Cause hating is tortuous, and I believe no one really want to wreak anyone's relationship 'cause they themselves won't want others to do that onto theirs.
I don't want to pass any judgment, baby please don't hurt me(anymore)
***
I told you, if we are married already- I feel like I'm a widow everyday.
Probably in a widow's dreams, she see her beloved.
I see you only when you are home, I can only hug when you're next to me.
And now for me, the feeling is totally different.
I used to be so elated, and nervous and high or whatever whenever 18th draws near.
It's our 22nd monthsary, but I won't ask you to take off.
I won't say I want us to go out and catch a movie alone.
I won't say to you, lets go and take neoprints like how we used to.
I won't pray for a miracle to happen that all these will take place..
Usually, I will make a card or pen a letter for B whenever he works, and whenever I miss him or before I go to sleep..
Well, he's just too busy with the year-end approaching.. even not with it.
The Christmas tree in Ngee Ann City(weeks ago) had already been up. Everywhere, it's decorated with the season-of-giving feeling. But I have a feeling it will not be a happy Christmas. It will be our second together.
And on 19thDec, we can go to our Fei Lun Hai concert. It's the first we are going to.
I still got so many things I want to do with you but you will never have the world of time fore me.. :C
I remembered, I was wrong too. I promised and gave you my word that after O's end last year- I will accompany you everyday, we can do what we lvoed to do- eat and sleep and play around. Have you forgotten all these happy moments?
A few times, you woke up early in the morning Baby- then you will cook the egg+bread for me. Still remembered you tell me you want to do a heart-shape one for me :)
You were(once) so sweet and lovely my boy. And then, you will reach my house downstairs at 0630 am just to wait for me to go down and then surprise me.
You feared telling me you're downstairs 'cos you don't want me to rush, you would rather wait longer.. But baby, if I had known- I'd rather rush and see you more of you..
I still remember not wanting to go in to school, cos I rather accompany you.
*
Next, last few days I was talking to Adam at your house. We talked a lot, had a lot in common. He miss his girl, he loves her a lot. He's very sad but he pretended be strong and happy too.
I told him, B got $10 only for his pocket money everyday- but one day, I think he made me very angry or sad- then he didn't eat or buy anything for himself.. He used the 10 bucks to buy 1 rose for me and waited for me outside my workplace.. He apologized to me, and waited for 1hr plus.. This was how sweet you are. You remembered?
.. Fetching me after school and carrying my heavy bag for me(cos all my friends know I love to carry rocks, junks and rubbish to school) and then you said "This is a form of love, this a form of care. I love you and I care so I will carry your heavy bag for you" :(
You fetching me everyday after work, sitting outside my workplace sillyingly playing the psp.. Sometimes, f4 together cos we catching a movie after my work..
Then, you sending me home without fail on bus372 last year.. I still remembered your health used to be so poor- you fell sick often. And sometimes(cruelly) I thought to myself now "Woah.. if you fall sick, that would be great!" Cos I can take care of you baby, I can stay over and look at you sleep. You will have a day off and don't work.."
How I wished..
Do you remember Baby?
Don't leave me all alone here, reminiscing.
Sunday, November 16, 2008:19:25
