.jpg)
B's dad, Leroy, B, Me, b's Mom <3.jpg)
Leroy, Baby, Fook Kee, Marcus, Jashawn and Clement. :).jpg)
(From top) Baby, Clement, Fook Kee, Gordon, Leroy, Marcus, Jashawn and Sarah :).jpg)
Samantha(that's Baby's cousin) & me..jpg)
In the arcade, at E-hub, 06thOct08.Photographer:Clement Goh.
Then, I also have pictures here on Baby&Beth's 21st monthsary on 18thOctober. :)
18thOCTOBER!
Sam and I. We camwhored for quite a bit! :P
Girl, you have to have confidence in yourself! :) Believe in yourself!
Leroy& Sam :D
Clement& Sam.
Sam& Tiong(Auntie got gf already :D Congrats!)
"Forever and always, my sweetheart."
18th October- Worked as usual, until 1800. Initially, I really thought we were not able to catch a movie and go out for dinner or he may not even spend some time with me. Cause I remembered he told me "I'm working" it was then- yes, I was truly very disappointed.
But what can I possibly say? Cause he told me if he work, he get to earn money. But if he goes out with me, he don't earn any money at all and he had this "opportunity cost".
This is, if he choose to spend that amount of time on his work, he can earn morte money rather than going out with me and spending money. I know this sucks, and it hurts.
In the end, I called him and he called and so the line was engaged. In the end, he told me he is not working for that day(it's not for me, or for us) but I was already very elated! You see, truth to be told- I waited for thirty days just to spend a few hours out of a full whole day just to be with him alone, you know twosome-ly. This is the truth. Very true. Actually only my close and loved ones know. I will just learn to be more understanding.
In the end, everyone met together. We went down to Plaza Singpura, we caught the movie "Burn after reading" and yes, I snoozed off. Completely not my cup of tea. Yucks! Anyway, they said the guy is Brad Bitt, I am like "Who's that?" I only hear his name before, but I don't think he's good-looking. I don't think my friends will love this show. So don't catch this movie. I wanted to watch Eagle Eye or Connected! :(
We took Night-ridder NR6 home and roamed ard 300plus area after that. I'm already very contented to see him and spent the day, with him around and with so many friends. :)
As a matter of fact, ever since he started working as this Starhub promoter, I do get to see him very little except for the fact that if I stay over, I get to see him more. That's why I spend more time here than in my own house. When he's sleeping, I will be like studying in the past(cos I just entered TP in April) then when I rushed back from school to his house, if I am lucky I get to see him for an hour plus. Then he will go off to work, then I will have to wait four-five hours until I get to see him for thirty to forty-five mins before I take the last bus home. On weekends, I can then stay over.
For now I'm working and studying, he will still be working. I really get very little time with him. Cause he has to commit to his work, I feel very proud of him 'cause he was the top salesman. Then, he is already a team leader now and he has his own namecards. He's capable, and from what I see- he had grown and mature and I'm happy for him. I really am. Although I get to see him very little, when he comes back home- he actually goes straight to his PC or start mahjong-ing and not to me(or to my embrace.)
But I understand, actually I have gave him quite a lot of freedom. I let him do his things. I have learnt to trust him better now. I really hope I can be happier. Once, he told me I should be more independent 'cause next year, he will be going into the army. I admit, I rely a lot on him. He's my best and closest friend, he's my soul mate but he had changed a lot.
I'm still holding on. I really don't like to think of the fact that others may not be happy that we are(still) together. I really wonder why- some of us got and is still in a relationship and we fear the pain of losing the one we loved but yet, some do things to harm others' relationship. I don't want to think of anything now. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes, I really wished I can be like what you guys want of me. I'm sorry.
***
Actually it hurts, it really do when I remembered your words.
Your actions.
At a lot of times, I don't know what I'm holding on for.
I don't know what caused your changes, but I know for sure no matter how much you changed-
my love for you leland, it remained true, strong and real.
Why don't you love me, the way I loved you?
