However, things started to fill up my mind, once again.
And I loathe all these feelings, those happenings were there. Probably when I was asleep, I even thought about them. They kept me preoccupied.

I tried to shake them off. Then again, being the useless and weakling Elizabeth- I could not do that. They haunted me even more, they were more than nightmares.
They were terrifying, scarier than the most frightening ghost stories I used to hear and hide under my blanket at the cold and dark nights ..

I wished that if you are given chances to start all over again, you will never have choose to take those routes. They were roads of destruction and doom, they will take everything of yours away. The beautiful smile you have, the bright future you could have have, the happiness you should never take for granted.
I don't want anything to befall you. I'd rather they take place on me.

I cannot even imagine the pain I would have to experience if I have to lose you, one day.
Yes, before we were even together on 18January2007, I could have lead my life normally and happily, you too. We have our very own paths. We can still continue to be friends who chatted for hours every night and message every day when you and I are both awake. However, in this world- There's no such thing that "I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU, BABY." or even "I need you."
Even faced with the hardest break-up, people will still get over the pain eventually. It's just a matter of time, as the saying goes "Time heals all wounds."

Isn't that so true? Think about your First Love, you got over it. It may be terrible, the feeling may sucks. Nobody loves being hurt or enjoyed getting ditched. It may be hard to accept initially, however in time to come- we got over the period- crying at night to sleep, re-reading every messages he once sent, getting upset while thnking about the promises he once said he would honoured and getting over the horrendous and painful heartbreak.

Seriously, I'm getting pretty out of point here. I don't even know what I'm typing about now. Sorry.

I have no mood to continue on. Probably one day, I will.
I had enough. I cried enough. I talked too much, talked until I got so disgusted by myself. I once asked a guy, "Guys never/ wonuld not like girls who talk too much right?"
He replied: Girls should know when to talk and when to stop.
I saw from another source that it is. I trusted them.
I had a major problem.

I can never, stop talking.
Believe me, it's so true. Ask him, he thinks I'm irritating.
I couldn't help but agree.

I got home at 12 plus on 25thJune, waited for his call. Tried to reach him.