I cherished Baby, I really do.This post is especially dedicated to my Boyfriend, my Baby, Leland Aw. You will always be my love. :) I know for this one year plus, Baby you have been putting up a lot from me. I’m unreasonable, and I threw many tantrums. I have got such a hideous character and I’m not pretty. You could have choose to leave me, and run away to be with another girl. Thank you so much, for staying with me still and still leaving s space for me in your heart. I’ve been a bad girl, scolding you and saying so much of nasty things to hurt you. At times, I even turned violent and scratched you, leaving marks of pain on your hand. Seeing those really made me guilty though, I felt like I should have control my tempers at those times. I really regretted, Baby I know I have been saying that I will change for you somehow but it seemed like I’m bull-shitting like what you mentioned. I’m talking like its breathing. I’m talking like drinking water. Baby, I just want you to be the same, I want to be loved by you only, I want your heart to contain only me, you can only miss me and dream of me. And I want to be the only one in your eyes. It’s like recently, I have been crying a lot- for you, for us and for myself. I really hate myself; I wouldn’t want us to be in this way. I’m afraid to wake up one day knowing you’re no longer mine. Baby, I’ve always loved my “face” so much to not cry in front of you and finally, I broke down yesterday. I’ve this egoistic side that’s getting into the way of a blooming relationship with you dear. I’m really afraid to lose you, I’m afraid to be a nuisance to you. I’m afraid you’re getting bored of me. And out of everything I have, Baby you’re the only thing I’m most afraid to lose now. I cannot afford to lose you, because Baby you’ve taken up a big part of my heart and you’re a big and beautiful chapter of my life- now and foe eternity. You made me believe in "Eternity" once, I trusted you before. I cannot stand you not holding me for a day, not kissing my forehead and say you love me. Baby, I’m never tired of all these. I still love you, and I hope you are too. And we almost had a tiff which may leads to a spilt. I’m just hoping we will be staying the same that I wanted to.
Before coming home after I left Baby’s house, I met up with Aline and Zoë at Starbucks, chatted. Although my two girlfriends were there sitting in front of me- I still find it hard to bare my soul out and confide in one again. Saw Jal and Adel at C.P too :) Thanks Joyce for being such a sweetie, you must be happy too :) Thanks to my friends who are also concerned about me.
Before coming home after I left Baby’s house, I met up with Aline and Zoë at Starbucks, chatted. Although my two girlfriends were there sitting in front of me- I still find it hard to bare my soul out and confide in one again. Saw Jal and Adel at C.P too :) Thanks Joyce for being such a sweetie, you must be happy too :) Thanks to my friends who are also concerned about me.
Just that I really hate it, hate that why is there such a widening gap between you&me, between my girfriends and I, between my sisters too? I'm such a failure, I loathe myself more each day.
& Honey loves Pooh too. Do you Pooh?
& Honey loves Pooh too. Do you Pooh?
Labels: And can it be the same again?
